Memories

Here are a few poems that I wrote back in high school and recently found on my computer…enjoy!

BILLBOARD DREAMS

I passed a billboard sitting on the
side of a deserted highway in the
middle of Montana a few weeks ago.
It had a picture of a utopian dream on it.
Crystal clear water, white sandy beaches
people with pearly white teeth
and slender tan bodies walking
upon the shoreline, smiling brightly
while holding hands and gazing into the sunset.
The words beside these beautiful people said
“Reserve your hotel room today…
only $39.95 per room, settled right on the beach.”
Take a closer look.
Read through the beautiful view, the happy people.
Is there really a utopian dream, in the middle of Montana?
Their smiles look forced. Their hair a bit too perfect for beach weather.
It’s probably air brushed.
His abs are too defined.
Her eyes a speck too blue.
The water is a little too clear.
The sand, a bit too white.
The edges of the billboard are
Creased. Cracked.
The right side is starting to deteriorate slowly.
Rusted pipes hold the large sign up for all to view.
It’s so far away, only in our utopian dreams.
Shall we fall asleep and try to locate it?
Or should we stay awake and live reality?

I drove down the same highway in Montana a week later.
The dream was gone.
It was replaced with a 1 800 number for depression.
“Call for more information,” it read.
My dream can’t be gone. It was my only hope, my getaway.
The beautiful people had been torn down.
Now there was a small man in a business suit.
Black rimmed glasses and a briefcase representing a CEO with a great view.
His hair was tousled to show his desperation.
When I’m sad my hair isn’t always tousled,
but maybe I’m just weird.
The man’s glasses were a bit lopsided.
He wore a frown on his slightly aged face.
His hand was placed on his chin as if he were in deep thought
about his so called sadness.
I guess making 50 grand for being on a billboard
wasn’t all it seemed cracked up to be.
At least the ad was in bright colors,
as not to distract drivers from keeping their eyes on the road.
I guess there is more depression in Montana than there are beaches.
That’s just too bad.

Today I encountered the same billboard.
It had a yellow background with black writing.
The message was simple and to the point.
No pictures or illustrations to please the eye.
It simply said, “You’re Almost There.”
I’m not sure if this message was just meant for me,
or if other drivers noticed it as well.
Almost where? Home? McDonalds? The office in the sky?
Well, I knew where I was almost.
Almost.
I was driving. And thinking. But I wasn’t sure.
I was almost sure, but not certain.
Too bad it wasn’t certain. Maybe then
I would have seen the car in front of me
slam on their brakes.

HOLLYWOOD DISASTER

roll down the red carpet
cut out a star in the sidewalk
write my name in it
hold up a crystal glass
put on a versace dress
carry a prada bag
pay $250 for a
piece of lettuce and a sip of water
have affairs, disrupt the peace
do drugs, but don’t look back
change clothes and start a new day
by laying down the red carpet
and stamping a star on the sidewalk
but this time write your life story on it
let everyone see the true pain
your broken heart and your shattered dreams
or you could just sing it in a song

FOOD CHAIN

when you have an apple, you want a grape
smaller, sweeter, a less harsh fate.
losing weight is the plan for you
you’re almost sure that you’ll make it through.

the weight drops off, pound by pound
you feel very sick, but you’ll come around.
you hand seems cold to the touch
tomorrow you will have to skip lunch.

you lean over and pull back your hair
it’s as if no one seems to care.
someone gently knocks on the stall
you are crying, but say nothing at all.

laying on the white sheets and blanket
the doctors said you almost didn’t make it.
you didn’t mean to throw it up
you should have eaten more than half a cup.

the recovery is a long, hard ride
the doctors say you’re doing fine
3 months in the hospital passes slowly by
now all you need to do is try.