That's what you get...

Pointless…Un-Needed…Sometimes I Ask Myself Why I Even Try.

lnanderson — Tue, 30 Aug 2011 00:32:44 +0000

Today was definitely one of those days. I get to class…and the first one is good. Between the first and second, I go to the library to check my email only to find out that my Spanish class was canceled because of staffing issues. Seriously? I don’t even want to discuss it. I better get into the 201 class or I’ll scream. I’m sure Dr. Jacobs will take care of it for me though. I have faith.

Other things I’m not so sure about. Lately I’ve been trying…really trying to do everything. Last week I worked 36 hours (FULL TIME..YAY!), ran errands, took care of Peyton, did ALL the chores in the house (besides mowing/lawn care), and cooked dinner every night. Did I get a thank you for cleaning 75% of the house? Nope. Did I get a thank you for doing the dishes? Nah. Did I get a thank you for anything at all? Maybe at dinner once or twice…just to say thanks for cooking. I’ve literally been saying thank you to nearly EVERYTHING and all I get is a “yeah” or “ok,” in return. I don’t get it. Now that classes have started, I will be dealing with SIX classes, working part time, taking care of a three year old (not just taking care of him, but dropping him off and picking him up from daycare while I’m in class as well), cooking, cleaning, laundry, dishes, toy pick up, etc. I feel like a single mom and I’m not single. Oh well. I guess that’s what I get for all the times that I have messed stuff up. I just feel like he’s always pissed off at me because I’m not doing something right or I said something wrong or I sounded like an idiot for asking a question. Maybe I am an idiot.

Tomorrow is a new day, so we will see what it brings.

Anyway….classes went well. I am excited for tomorrow because I get to find out if I can actually be in another Spanish class. I also get to be in another English class which is exciting too. I love learning

So, I have a complaint/rant to make. It’s not only about my personal experience, but about the subject in general. When two people get into a relationship or start dating, they really try to impress each other. They dress up when they go on dates. They do their hair, make up, put on cologne, etc. They try to look their best and act their best. Once the relationship has moved to the next level, things seem to calm down and the two settle into a routine. They may get a little sloppy…maybe not do their hair or put on make up…or just slack off on trying to impress the other person. Once the couple has decided to be engaged or get married, it seems like all bets are off. The couple pretty much doesn’t care about impressing the other person. They just assume that their significant other knows they are loved and wanted. They don’t dress up or make themselves look good, even on a date night. They don’t really care what the other person thinks about them because in their mind they are thinking, “They will stay with me no matter what I do or how I look or how I act.” I think that this is complete BS and couples SHOULD NOT think like this.

Couples should always try to look AT LEAST decent for their other half. They should do little things that show they love the other one (I’m not saying buy flowers for your girlfriend daily or shower your boyfriend in video games every week)…just little things like leaving a love note or giving them a hug or kiss when you know they need it. Couples shouldn’t let themselves go because eventually they will hate each other for it. Maybe not hate, but they will start to lose respect for the other person. I don’t understand why you wouldn’t want the person that you love so much to know that you love them and that you are still trying to impress them and flatter them even though you have been together for X number of years. It’s just weird.

Ok well that’s all for this rant. I’m done…have to go read for class

Filed under: anger, crazy life, schedule, SU

Back To Reality

lnanderson — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 13:41:00 +0000

Well I’ve been back from Myrtle Beach for 5 days now and I’m missing it immensely. I love the beach and the atmosphere that it provides. It’s so laid back and relaxed. I’m glad to be home and back to a normal schedule though.

The beach was a great trip minus the two straight days of rain. We saw a lot of attractions and hung out at the beach for a while. Peyton loved every minute minus when he skinned his knees on the last night. I felt so bad for him All in all it was a successful trip.

So now I’m planning a wedding Cody and I are engaged (again haha). I’m really excited though. We’ve already found a place to have the ceremony and reception and even though the actual date is more than a year away, it’s still exciting to start planning and thinking about it. I can’t wait!

Well, I just wanted to give a quick update since it’s been a while since I’ve written. I will probably write more tomorrow when I work.

Filed under: myrtle beach, reality, wedding

The Library & Random Thoughts

lnanderson — Wed, 20 Jul 2011 18:26:00 +0000

This is the location at which I am resting my butt in an uncomfortable chair right now. Though the chair isn’t my favorite, this place is. I love the library. I love working here. It gives me time to collect my thoughts, to think, and to read (which means I’m learning). I can help students and interact with a lot of people daily. It’s a calm place that brings a sense of peace to my day. I can get a lot done or nothing at all, depending on my mood.

Today I have accomplished quite a bit and it’s only two hours into my shift. I have made appointments for undisclosed reasons (meaning no one reading this can know until the time is right), read nearly the whole of “Weird”, wrote in my journal (the real one with an actual pen…who knew that still existed?), and checked out two books that I swore I wasn’t going to bring to the beach with me but decided to indulge anyway.

Which brings me to my next topic: the beach. Only two days after today until we leave at 4am for our eight hour trip to Myrtle Beach. Oh how I’ve missed this place. Not being able to go there since 2007 has just made me sad. Sure I’ve gone to other beaches since then, but Myrtle is by far my favorite on the Atlantic coast. I love the atmosphere, attractions, shops, and all of the restaurants. Even in the middle of the summer, it never seems too crowded either which is great. I can barely contain my excitement! I’ll also be glad to get away from the place that I have lived since birth for more than two days. It’s always exciting to get away from the grueling trivial madness of everyday life, but when I get to get away and lay on a beach for five days, well, who can beat that? Plus I get to spend time with the two people I love most! I know it’s going to be a great trip!

So does anyone have any suggestions on restaurants to try while I’m there? I’ve been to Planet Hollywood and Hard Rock Cafe about a million times (not only at Myrtle but in Tennessee, Maryland, and Florida as well) and I’m tired of going there. I want something a little different, something new. So if anyone out there reads this (meaning, the two friends that I have) please leave a suggestion as to where to eat for a great meal that isn’t going to cost a days worth of pay. Thanks

I work tomorrow and Friday as well and I have a lot to do. I am going to buy a few groceries to take on the trip for snacks and lunch. I also need to cut Peyton’s hair, take the trash to the dump, finish packing, and do laundry. None of that is getting done tonight though since I’ll be visiting my mom to pick up some beach towels and so Peyton can see his Maw Maw and Jeff before he goes away. It will make time pass faster though!

I have another favor/question to ask my fellow readers as well. Does anyone know ANYTHING I can do to help me stop cracking my knuckles/toes/back/neck? I’m addicted, I’ll admit that. I also know I need to stop especially since my dad has RA and that is an autoimmune disease that is genetic. I know that cracking things doesn’t necessarily lead to arthritis but it can contribute to the pain that goes along with the disease. If anyone has any tips please feel free to let me know!

Ok well that’s enough rambling for now. I am going to finish “Weird” then move on to either “The Almost Moon” or “Now You See Her.” If I don’t update before I leave on Saturday (which we all know I will be updating since I’ll be working) then everyone have a great week!

Filed under: library, myrtle beach, peace

Facebook Is Evil

lnanderson — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 01:54:00 +0000

Everyone says that…facebook is evil. Yet most of the population has one. Even me…and yes, I do say facebook is evil. It is a sin that most facebook users commit daily. It wastes time, leads to gossip, causes unwanted drama, and makes people think they have more friends than they really do. I’m guilty…I use facebook on a daily basis. I have been for a while. Why? I suppose you could say I’m addicted, but if I had to, I could stop. But I don’t have to…nothing is forcing me to delete my facebook. Nothing is saying, “Hey, get off that site, you’re wasting valuable time.” So why should I?

It’s more of a habit than an addiction. Habits become addictions though…just like smoking, drinking, and doing drugs, facebook is right up there with the best. Society has evolved over the past five years so much (I’ll write more on that in another post!) and facebook is one of the reasons why. In order to communicate with someone, you can’t call them because they won’t answer. Texting is a must (and yes, I text) and if texting doesn’t work, facebook is the next reliable source. It’s sad…there is no other way to describe it.

So…as of today, I will only log into facebook once a week. I feel that if I keep going down the path I’m on, facebook will become an addiction that I wouldn’t be able to break. Facebook is not something you should use to communicate with people on a daily basis. It should be used to re-connect with old friends, find out what they are up to, post bragging pictures of your new boyfriend/husband/kid/animal, and maybe complain about something every once in a while. It should be a get-a-way or an indulgence. Not something that needs to be gotten away from or something that you NEED to do on a daily basis.

Although I’d probably never have the audacity to completely delete my facebook (only because I’d be afraid no one would ever communicate with me again) I know that I can stay away from it. There are more important things in life such as giving more time to my son and boyfriend. Fake social lives do not equal real social lives. Just because you have 590 friends on facebook doesn’t mean you have 590 friends that will come hang out with you at a moments notice. Which is why I went to my facebook today and deleted over half of the people on my friends list. I felt good after that. As if I was washing away the final chapter of my old life and ushering in the new one. God has great things in store for me and facebook isn’t one of them.

Filed under: addiction, evil, facebook, God, habit, sin

When Is It Break Time?

lnanderson — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 01:13:00 +0000

Being the mom of a very hyperactive three year old is fun, but as one can imagine also very tiring. I love my son to death and I wouldn’t change anything about him if given the opportunity. I just wish I had a break sometimes. My day usually begins with waking up to, “Mommy!! Mommy! I’m hungry, get up it’s daylight outside!” around 6:30am-7:00am. Once I slowly get up and stretch, I make my way to the living room, open the blinds and turn on the TV. Then I make breakfast for myself and Peyton and we eat while watching cartoons. After breakfast, Peyton immediately needs to play cars/paint/play play-doh/run around/scream. Once these things are accomplished (all the while, he is constantly chattering and making conversation, sometimes with me and sometimes with himself or his stuffed animals) I can usually get him to sit still long enough to hop in the shower. As soon as my right foot his the floor of the bathroom, he is in there wanting to know what I’m about to do next. For the next 15 minutes, he follows me around as I get dressed and fix my hair. As soon as I’m done it’s back to playtime unless it’s time for me to go to work. If I go to work, he is dropped off with his father and I am left alone for about 5 hours or so only to have a tired/sugar filled child dropped off at my door step as soon as I pull into the driveway after work. Now it’s nearly dinner time and while I’m making dinner I also have to pick up around the house, play toys, and keep Peyton occupied until Cody gets home. I’m able to barely finish cooking dinner then we sit down to eat. Like clockwork, halfway through the meal, Peyton needs to poop. As I take him to the bathroom and sit with him, my food as well as his food gets cold so when I return, my appetite disappears (which isn’t a bad thing, helps keep the pounds off). After dinner there is more play time then bath time. Bath time usually consists of Peyton throwing water everywhere and me cleaning it up. After this there is more play time, then story time, then eventually bed time. If I’m lucky, he won’t wake up in the middle of the night, but as most of you know, I’m not the luckiest person ever. Around 1am-4am Peyton usually comes into my bedroom and wants to sleep in my bed. If I’m too out of it, I just let him crawl in (which is about 99% of the time). The other 1% of the time I will take him back to bed and tuck him in again then return to my bed only to be wide awake. Then 6:30am comes and it starts over. Now this schedule may not seem to bad to you and it really isn’t that bad for me either.

I love my son and I like playing with him and listening to him talk and answering his questions. Being a mother is an amazing thing. But honestly, I feel as if I never get a break. I knew that when I signed up for motherhood it was going to be like this. I knew it would be hard and it only gets harder as time passes. But I thought that I might get a break here and there. Nope. Not a chance. If there happens to be a day when I’m not working and Peyton goes to his dad’s house, there are always a million errands to run, chores to do, dishes to clean, meals to plan, laundry to fold, and floors to vacuum. If by chance I’ve completed all of these things and Peyton’s dad hasn’t dropped him off, I may get about five minutes up to an entire half hour to sit and relax. Usually it’s about five to ten minutes. In that amount of time, the most I can do is really just re-group and prepare for Peyton’s arrival.

I know this may seem like I’m complaining about my son and my life. I’m not…I just need to vent a little sometimes and this is a good outlet for it. Ever since I’ve really started praying things have gotten better. I’ve had more patience and a better attitude towards my life and my relationship with my son. Sometimes it’s still hard though. I try my best to not get angry over little things, but stuff happens. One little thing goes wrong and that leads to another which leads to another. A lot of little things going wrong is almost worse than one big thing going wrong. And if this happens on a near daily basis, it adds up over a while.

If I could have any wish right now, I’d wish for one day of complete silence. I’d get to lounge around the house, not worrying about chores, my son, or going to work. I could read, watch TV, study, do whatever I wanted in complete silence. Wow, that’s an awesome thought. I know I’ll never get that. Not in this lifetime anyway. And you know what? That’s fine. Because even in that five to ten minute gap that I get maybe once a week, I miss the noise. If my wish came true, I’d miss the noise then, but I’m not going to say I wouldn’t enjoy the silence.

Filed under: break, crazy life, schedule, silence

I Just Don’t Understand Some People

lnanderson — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 17:45:00 +0000

People are always going to oppose your views, opinions, and lifestyle. Some will bluntly tell you to your face while others will talk about you behind your back to common acquaintances. What I don’t understand is why people judge others based on what they like and don’t like. Just because someone you know doesn’t like a certain band, movie, food, or sports team doesn’t mean you have to hate that person. It doesn’t mean you are entitled to talk about them behind their back, judge their character, or spread rumors about them. It simply means that you have different tastes in sports, food, entertainment, etc. I don’t understand why people think that they are entitled to openly hate others that oppose their own lifestyle. Just doesn’t make sense to me. That person that you may be opposing could be the nicest person in the world. They could hold the cure for cancer, be a Nobel Prize winner, an amazing chef, or simply a great listener. But you hate the fact that they like the Philadelphia Eagles instead of the Washington Redskins, so you immediately despise them and refuse to converse with them because of that small simple fact. It’s just wrong and well, to put it bluntly…dumb, stupid, and ridiculous.

Anyway, today has been going pretty well. My boyfriend’s sister had her baby last night. He is so cute! I want to see him, but I guess that’s not happening anytime soon Oh well, in due time. This week has gone by beautifully. I can’t wait because next Saturday I leave for the beach! I think we are leaving around 4am which is going to put us at the beach by 12pm hopefully. I am hoping we miss on the traffic by leaving that earlier. Depending on the driver we may leave at 3am, but I don’t want to have to crash when I get there haha. I guess we will play it by ear and see.

Well, I’m out of here because work is about to end. I have one more book then I’m officially done with the “Left Behind” series which has been amazing, surprising, and very informative to say the least! I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Filed under: judging, opinion, opposing views

So…

lnanderson — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 01:08:00 +0000

I decided to make a blog on blogger because it’s cooler than wordpress. I have had my wordpress forever so I’m not going to forget about it. There is a link at the bottom of this page somewhere that goes back to it just in case. I used to have a blogger and it’s probably still active but since I don’t use that gmail account anymore (and haven’t for about 4 years now) I am not using it. Google just has it all. Stupid monopoly.

Anyway, Peyton and I had a busy day. This morning we went and got his pictures done at JCPenny and Sears portrait studios. They both turned out great. I can’t wait to get them back! I’m excited to see them on actual photo paper instead of just on the internet. He was great during both sessions and he gave cheesy smiles and posed perfectly. I couldn’t have asked for a better kid. As a reward we went to McDonalds then swimming at the public pool. It was a lot of fun although both of us got a bit of a sunburn. It’s ok though, better get some sun before the beach in less than two weeks!

I’m at the library right now drinking “iced” coffee. It’s so warm in here that my iced coffee is actually starting to become hot coffee. Why can’t they fix the AC? PLEASE?! Oh well, maybe I can sweat off a few pounds since dieting isn’t working out too well.

The SU library doesn’t have the last two books I need for the “Left Behind” series, so that greatly upsets me. Now I have to travel to the Handley Library in hopes that they aren’t checked out there. This is one of the reasons why I’m not rushing to finish the 10th book since I won’t have time until Thursday to get to the library.

So this post is filled with a lot of randomness and here is another thing: I love the Lady Gaga song “Edge of Glory.” It’s AMAZING. I also love her whole CD that she just put out. I think it’s the Born This Way one. And I accidentally just started playing one of the songs in the library. Haha oh well.

Looks like it’s time to read some then probably get on Stumble Upon because it’s only ten after nine…2 hours and 50 minutes to go

Filed under: new, pictures, swimming, vacation

Protected: An Apology

lnanderson — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 02:25:22 +0000

This post is password protected. You must visit the website and enter the password to continue reading.

Filed under: insecurities, love

Crosswalk.com

lnanderson — Sat, 09 Jul 2011 15:27:10 +0000

This website is FANTASTIC. Here is a direct link in case you are just too lazy to type it in your browser: http://www.crosswalk.com/

Everyone should sign up for the daily emails they offer. If you’re a woman, I’d suggest signing up for the Girlfriends in God email too. All of the daily emails area really inspiring and they make you think about your relationship with God. They also offer free things and discounted items on the sidebars of the emails like books and DVDs.

Ok so now that’s out of the way, SOMEONE told me that since I’m always so bored at work I need to update this more. Haha, my life is just soooo exciting. I don’t really have much to share. I leave for Myrtle Beach in 2 weeks! I can’t wait! Then in September I get another mini vacation over Labor Day weekend so that’s good. I can’t wait for classes to start. I’ve already received about half of my books in the mail. My Comic Drama class is requesting we have NINE different books! Thank goodness they are all short plays and not full length novels that we have to read.

It’s such a pretty day outside. Too bad I’m not going to be able to enjoy it until 2pm I see the wind blowing through the windows in the library and it looks so nice! I was thinking about taking P to the pool, but I think I may do that tomorrow or Monday instead. Monday morning we are definitely going to get his pictures done professionally. I’ve made appointments at Sears and JCPenny just because they have those great deals where you get about 30 pictures for $7.99 plus a free sitting fee. I’ll just bring another outfit then change him in between sessions. My mom gave me that idea!

Sometimes this library is kinda creepy when no one is here. It makes too many noises that I can’t keep up with. Oh well, that’s a library for you.

I think I’m going to get back to my reading. I’m hoping to finish “Desecration” by the end of my shift today. Then I’ll only have three more books in the “Left Behind” series until I’m done!

Filed under: God, Religion, SU

Soul Harvest

lnanderson — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 01:53:01 +0000

I’m finally on the fourth book of the “Left Behind” series. So far it’s really good. I don’t really see why people say it’s a boring series. Yes, it does get repetitive sometimes, but it’s for a reason: to get the point across. And to update the reader in case it’s been a while since the previous book. I enjoy it a lot. Can’t wait to finish this one and move onto the next!

Right now I’m at the library. It’s dark. And boring. And I can’t believe it but there are actually people in here. Why, I have no idea. This coffee hasn’t helped a lot though. I still have two hours to go I’m sure I’ll be able to come close to finishing my book unless I get a headache from reading. It’s kind of sad they pay students to read, but oh well, I’m loving it!

I only have to work tomorrow and Wednesday then I’m off until next Tuesday! That’s something to look forward to. But after my long break, I work 8 days in a row. At least I’ll be making a little money before going to the beach! I really want to get a tattoo, but I know it’s just not feasible right now. Maybe if I get a part time job during the school year I can save up some money. I want a fairly small one but I’ve already gotten quotes and they said it would be between about $150-$200. Ughh why can’t anything be cheap anymore?

I can’t wait for next semester to start up. I need to learn! It kind of sucks that I’m taking all freshmen classes except my two English ones. I’m in Spanish, Public Speaking, and World Religions (I think). I don’t really like taking freshman classes because half the students are really immature. At least from what I’ve experienced in my Fall 2009 and Spring 2010 semesters. Oh well, maybe it won’t be like that this year.

I can’t wait to have a relaxing night tomorrow. I work from 4-8 but Peyton’s dad is keeping him tomorrow night instead of tonight, so I’ll be able to just relax with Cody. It will be nice. I wish we could have nights like that more often. I kind of miss going on dates haha. Oh well, that’s life I suppose. I believe I’m going to get back to my book. If anyone knows how to get a Dell Webcam to work please let me know. My webcam doesn’t work because it’s apparently missing a driver but I don’t have the original CD’s and when I try to install the driver from the website it doesn’t work. Thanks!

Filed under: SU