The Real Thing

So life has been good. Sort of boring…haven’t really been doing a whole lot lately. Dad is buying a Sony Wega 50 inch TV tomorrow from Costco. It’s exciting….surround sound and a 50 inch TV….I can’t wait to watch a good movie on it. I’ll probably do that on Sunday. As for tomorrow…I’m probably going to go to Harrisonburg, but I’m not sure. I really want to go down, but I don’t know anyone else that’s going. I suppose I can call someone, but I don’t know. We’ll see I guess. If I don’t go down tomorrow, I’ll just stay home and watch a movie. Or help set up the TV haha. Fun stuff. Life is pretty mellow right now. I’ll update again sometime next week. Classes start back up next week…and so does work. This week was amazing. Spring break and work was nothing except watching movies and surfing the internet. Next week means classes on Tuesday and Wednesday and about 60 patients a day. At least the day will go by fast. More next week.

Love Note Of The Century

Lindsey, I’m going to be as honest as the keys will let me. I’m going to shout through my fears. I’m going to speak in the language of heart. I’m going to speak lovely things. As I hear this song…and look at your picture…you arise and energy within me. You bring a smile to my face. How great it would be to hold you in the dark times. How amazing it could be, to be so comfortable beside someone I know so well. Such the ride this could be. I know that you’re not looking and maybe not ready for a real relationship. Lindsey, I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. And to be honest I’m a horrible salesman, and I can’t sell even myself for you to buy…and I know that you’re probably not even shopping for someone. However…I know you’ve seen the impulse buys, that you just can’t pass up. You’re my impulse buy. But I know that I’m more sure about this, than I’ve been about anything in a long time… For so long I’ve prayed for you. For so long I’ve been on my knees in prayer that the ordinary things would fall into place in your life. That you would find peace. That you would find love. And that you would find God in some way. God answers all prayers. I know that…you’ve been the topic of prayer for me for some time now. And I KNOW it’s working. I’m friends with you…I’m GREAT friends with you….so has been my prayer for some time…and it was granted… You make my heart skip a beat Lindsey. You have for a while. You’re so beautiful. In every way. Even in the times you may not think so, I admire how beautiful God has made you…I’ve tried to get off the bench on the sidelines and explain myself to you. I won’t wait any longer. “just close your eyes…and i’ll kiss you like there’s no tomorrow.” The thing is, I KNOW that line makes you feel the same way it makes me feel. Don’t you want that more than anything? I do so much! There’s nothing another guy can give you that I can’t. The basis for a great relationship is great communication. And Lindsey, we’ve got it. I could tell you anything, and not think twice. I’m not in love with you don’t get me wrong. However, it wouldn’t be that hard…but I’m not being unhealthy in my thoughts and feelings. You’ve meant more to me than most people ever mean to me. Call this the love note of the century, but I know that the sun cannot rise another day without you knowing how brightly it makes you look to me. I know the sun lives within you. I know you’re one of the brightest stars I’ve ever seen. And forget your past. It’s in the past. Forget your mistakes, they were mistakes, and you’ve moved on. Lindsey. I want you to trust me, even more than you do now. I could make you so very happy. I’m the type of person who would do anything for someone I care about. I would do anything for you. I hope that my feelings aren’t a shock. I hope that you feel worthy of them. I hope that my images of you do not come as a shock. I want you to feel beautiful for once in your life…you should feel that way always. I want to make you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. I will be as candid in this letter as I can be…I hope this doesn’t strike you as me going nuts, or me just being mushy. Lindsey, this is what you bring out in me. Not everyone does this. So the morning is cold, so are my hands without yours in mine. If you could drop your guard, and trust that this would work, and trust that I would do anything for you, it could be amazing. We could go at any pace you wish. Just as this song is slow…so could be the mood of our relationship. This song just brings out how beautiful things could be… God, I hope you don’t roll your eyes at this…I hope you don’t think less of me for this. I hope you don’t think me pathetic. I’m not perfect. But I see something that maybe others haven’t seen in you. I don’t know. Close your eyes and listen. So the melody soothes, so can I, a wearey and battered heart… I WILL NOT be a slave to bad timing anymore. You have to trust me. This could be, not your worst mistake, but you’re greatest leap of faith. I’m sorry this was so long. I didn’t intend for it to be…I just don’t know how else to convey my feelings. And look…if you really really don’t feel the same…just tell me. You know I’m an honest man who doesn’t get angry over petty things, and especially stuff like this. Nothing will change. I wont let another minute go by… You are loved by so many, and this guy here thinks you’re pretty sweet as well.

(note: parts of this were edited because there were names)

I was going through my myspace inbox…and this was the last message in there. I read it…over and over…and over. And I listened to that song (Jamisonparker – Here’s Everything I Meant To Say) and I wished I could have been stronger when this was sent to me. I wish I could have done it. I wish I had known then what I know now. It sucks just to think about what could have been. I suppose what’s in the past is in the past and I just need to look to the future. It seems like I keep thinking about the past recently, and I don’t like it. Think to the future. I need to keep telling myself that.

I just wanted to post this letter because it was really sweet and it’s just…amazing to know that someone can think of me like that.

Razr V3C

I now have the Razr. My new number is (540) 331 – 1765 so call it.
That’s all.

Two Whole Cookies?!?

Man I’m in an excellent mood. The word love has exited my mouth about 4 billion times today. That means it’s a good day. A great day, if I may say that. We had tons of patients, but it didn’t matter. Because today was good. I honestly don’t think I’m going to stop taking those steroids. If I do, I’ll have to get a supplement like a caffiene pill or something of that sort.

Anywho…life has been amazing the past few days. It’s been going well even though I’m still recovering from my cold. Life will be even better next week because we don’t see patients at all and we don’t have to dress up for work! That’s an exciting time in itself. Brian Reagan is hilarious. I love him. Not as much as I love Jason, but you know….hehe.

Um not much else to write about. Wednesday, we see like….fucking 67 patients. That’s NUTS. Oh well…I’ll live. I’ll be better by then so yea. Time for me to go do something more…non -nonproductive.

Doctor Doctor

Yesterday and today I went to the doctor. Urgent Care to be more specific. I just couldn’t take my throat being swollen anymore. They drew blood, gave me a strep test, and gave me two shots in my ass…one for each cheek haha. They also prescribed me two medications. One is a very strong antibiotic that I have to take every 6 hours. The other is…a steriod. It’s making me feel a little weird, but oh well. The doctor said side effects were normal. Today I just went in for a check up. They said I looked better, but my throat was still swollen. I’m glad they gave me good medicine though…it actually seems to be working. Unlike the actual FAMILY DOCTOR I went to two weeks ago who BS’d his way through my exam and ended up giving me the wrong diagnosis.

Anyway…I am feeling a bit better, but my throat is (according to the doctor) a 7 on the pain scale of 1-10….1 being no pain, 10 being excruciating. I suppose 7 is better than 10 though. Duke and BC are playing right now. It’s pretty interesting. Duke is up, so that’s good. I’ve always liked them.

What else has happened…not a while lot. I need to do my Sociology homework, but I don’t really feel like it now…I’ll do it when I get home from dinner at the grandparents house. My voice still sounds like crap…really muffled and distorted. I’ll probably go to work tomorrow, but not deal with patients, since the doctor I saw said I was contagious. I can’t afford not to work, so I’m trying my hardest to be there. I know everyone is probably really annoyed with me, but oh well. I can’t help it. I have no idea where I got sick from either. Weird….well that’s all for tonight. Red Lobster is being built as we speak and Olive Garden opens…either tomorrow or next Monday!!

WTF?!?

I seriously think I’m either (a) dying or (b)…wait there is no b. I haven’t been able to sleep for a week. I toss and turn ALL night…hence why I’m writing this at 2am. I take tons of sleep aids and other things that should be working right now, but they aren’t. I also have to pee like 309483094803 times a night. I get up at least every half hour, if not more. I know that no one wants to hear about this, but it’s MY blog, not yours. If you don’t like it, don’t read it. My throat is still really swollen along with my lymph nodes. Shouldn’t I at least be getting a little better?

On a better note…I downloaded a TON of great new (well, new to me) music today. Yahoo! has this thing where when you look up an artist, you can see artists similar to them and that opened up a whole new world of music to me. It was great. Sorry….I’m a little behind on this thing called…the internet haha.

I really wish something would kick in so I could sleep. I even tried moving my bed to a different position, switching sides, switching pillows, switching blankets, and EVERYTHING. Nothing seems to work.

If you have any ideas or suggestions, please, by all means, LET ME HEAR THEM.

I Picked Out Your Star

I saw a shooting star…tonight and on, I believe it was Saturday night, driving home. It was awesome. First time I ever saw one would have been on Saturday night. Everyone ALWAYS sees them but me. It’s not fair…until now. And I got it alllll to myself. I felt special. I’ve been in a halfway decent mood today. It’s been nice. I got some work done, colored a lot, and did some homework. I honestly think that coloring helps relieve stress. It helps with me anyway.

I don’t have mono. Just a bad bacterial infection. Just a quick statement for those who were wondering. I am on an antibiotic, so hopefully the infection is cleared up by Saturday. If not, I have to go back to the doctor for more blood work on my already bruised arm. I am still fairly sick. My tonsils feel like they are about 10 sizes too big for my throat, and they are rubbing together. Every single lymph node in my body is swollen, as well as my spleen and stomach area. That should go away soon though. Lets hope so anyway.

For the past few nights, I haven’t slept well at all, and last night was no exception. I tossed and turned until about 2:30am. Then I woke up, got something to drink, got online for a while, then tried to go back to sleep, but only tossed and turned until my alarm went off this morning at 7:45am. It’s most likely from being sick, but I suppose it could be from stress or whatever else too. I think it’s from not being able to breathe out of my nose or throat. Eh, I suppose I’ll live with no sleep for a while. I’m about to head to bed now…we will see how tonight pans out.

Catch Your Wave

I really enjoy pop music..like The Click Five. They are good. For pop that is. Anyway…I’m still sick. I have a gigantic bruise on my arm from having blood drawn. And I do believe every single lymph node in my neck is swollen to its maximum because my neck skin won’t stretch anymore to let it expand. Runny nose, headahces, muscle and joint aches, swollen lymph nodes, coughing, swollen tonsils. It can only mean one thing: a virus with NO NAME. Yea, that’s me…the undiagnosable. Oh well…let’s just hope it’s not deadly.

Ever since I got sick, I’ve been tossing and turning, having nightmares, or night terrors for those who watch the television show House. I think I got maybe one hour of sleep last night, if that. Recently, I’ve been feeling more lonely. I went to Zach’s myspace page yesterday and someone had posted that Rascal Flatt’s video of “What Hurts The Most” and I started bawling. It’s so sad. Hopefully it’s all just PMS and not another symptom of the virus. Hopefully.

I feel like writing, but I have no idea what to write about. I repeat myself a lot, and I’m trying not to do that so much. You know what I hate? When people ask me to do something for them…a favor, then expect me to have it done like the very next day. IE: building an entire website from scratch. Um..yea because I can do that with a full time job and a full time school schedule. I know I don’t have a life, but I do have school and work. I mean, I’m glad that people trust me to do these things, but I need time. I feel like a lot is being put on me right now, and I’m not really in the mood to deal with it, especially since I’m sick. So for those who have been asking me to do this or that for them…be patient with me. I’m trying.

Umm what else…nothing much. I’m going to work tomorrow since Tuesday is our no patient day. Sam said she would do all of the work that needed to be done and stuff. She’s really awesome. That’s all for this post here. I’ll update when something happens…which won’t be for a while most likely. Nothing exciting ever happens to me haha.

Metro-SEX

This weekend has been one of the most exciting weekends so far this year. I suppose that’s not saying much, but hey, it was good. Yesterday I finished up my second semester at Ashworth College by completing the exam. Then I met up with Matt, Zach, Fish, Marvin, and Glenn at Circuit City. We ate at Subway then we headed out to D.C. to see “Night Watch.” We rode the metro in which was pretty fun. I love riding the metro. I was really hyper all night. So we went to the movie theater, got lost in the elevator (haha, oh man that was GREAT), watched the movie (which was ok, but not really worth going to DC and paying $9.50 to see), then left. We rode the metro back and, WOW. Something really….INTERESTING happened on there. I just won’t discuss it here, but it was…yea. No comment. After that we drove back home, in which the entire time I was more hyper than I have been in a while. Hanging out with friends always makes me in a good mood. I got home around 2am.

Today I woke up and drove my brother to my mom’s house so we could go to Fairfax. We drove to Guitar Center. Zach (my brother) got a new guitar. Then we left to come home and my mom like…did something to her car. Now it won’t go in reverse. She was so pissed haha. We didn’t find out it wouldn’t go into reverse until we left the mall. The whole time in the mall, my brother and I were pissing her off by singing really loud and stuff. It was great.

Now I am back home, still in a good mood but really tired. Listening to Daniel Tosh. WOOOOO I love that man. Time for me to take a nap.

My Hands Are Sweaty

I think I may have mononucleosis. Maybe not. Maybe it was just a bug that is passing through and will be gone tomorrow…at least I hope that’s what it is. I had bloodwork done on Wednesday, so they should be calling me by tomorrow to let me know what I do have. I’m probably just going insane. That would explain a lot of things, not just the physical symptoms. I do believe I’m going to grace the world (well, the city of Washington DC) tomorrow night in order to see the new (or new to the US) movie “Night Watch.” Click here to view a preview of it. It’s in Russian, so that makes it more interesting to me. (Side note: my eyes are extremely DRY, even without my contacts in) Right now, I’m waiting for my delivery and listening to Dave Chapelle’s “Killin Me Softly”. He’s hilairous.
I’m starting to feel a bit better. I have a massive headache (which could possibly be from not eating right since Tuesday) and my lymphnodes are swollen in my neck, but I feel…great. It’s odd. But I’m glad I’m feeling better. Laughter is the best medicine.
Oh…do you like my new layout? I love it. It’s..SPRINGY.